


beastly

by wrathandruin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-neutral Reader, JAMES MY LOVE, Marauders' Era, OK SO IM ACTUALLY REALLY EXCITED FOR THIS ONE BECAUSE I LOVE MY MARAUDERS, READER HAS NO TIME FOR THEIR SHENANIGANS, REMUS MY LOVE, Reader-Insert, SIRIUS MY LOVE, Slytherin Reader, if it wasn't obvious already, peter can go eat a tree tbh but i have to include him bc its marauders, reader and remus bond bc theyre both wolfies but reader is tsundere as frick bc slytherin, reader's sex and gender are not specified, remus is gonna be all shy and cutesy and think ur pret cute, sirius and james are gonna be obnoxious because when aren't they obnoxious nerds, werewolf reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-04-02 22:43:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4076566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrathandruin/pseuds/wrathandruin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"How long?"</p><p>Once again, you appeared to have caught him off guard.</p><p>"What? Oh, um...It's been a while," Remus replied hesitantly. "...What about you?"</p><p>"Three months."</p><p>He looked at you, eyes widened slightly, and he started to say something, which was most likely going to be an expression of pity, but decided against it. You were a Slytherin, after all—he didn't want to accidentally offend you. He couldn't bear to imagine having to go through something as horrific as that every month with someone who hated his guts.</p><p>[ summary will be changed at a later time so that it doesn't suck ass like this one ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction.

**Author's Note:**

> THE NAME OF THIS IS LAME I'M SORRY I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING I MIGHT CHANGE IT LATER ? ?? ??? 
> 
> also it starts sort of in the middle of things but WHATEVEr--

There they were, sitting around the trunk of a rather large tree, Sirius wearing James's glasses, evidently doing an impression of him while James struggled to retrieve them, the two of them laughing like idiots, Remus seeming quite content with a book in his hands, and Peter watching the more obnoxious two, apparently having nothing better to do.  
  
There was no bloody way you'd ever catch Remus on his own, and even if you did, it would only be a matter of time before the others found him, so you figured now was just as good a time as any.  
  
Rolling your eyes, you flattened down your robes and straightened your back before setting off in their direction, intent on completely ignoring everyone else in his immediate area. The last thing you wanted to do was become a target for his little friends--what an annoyance _that_ would undoubtedly become.  
  
You stopped directly in front of Remus, waiting silently as he slowly looked up from his book, a rather surprised expression on his face. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sirius turn to look at you, a low whistle escaping his lips that fell on deaf ears. His distracted state gave James the opportunity to snatch his glasses off of his companion's face and return them to his own, but soon enough, you had his attention as well. As you'd decided before you made the trek over, you paid them no mind.  
  
"Remus, we need to talk."  
  
He was quiet for a moment, obviously caught off guard, before he stuttered to a start.  
  
"Oh, um--...C-Can I ask what about?" he replied politely, though you could tell he was still startled. It wasn't often that strangers came up and started conversations with him, and for it to be a Slytherin of all people...  
  
"We seem to have a mutual... _ailment_. I'll explain the rest on the way to somewhere more _private_." You stressed the last word, as to make it obvious you didn't want his friends to have any part in this. Remus looked even more confused for a moment, before a slight understanding flashed over his face, followed instantly by anxiety as he began to quickly pack up his things.  
  
"Oooooo," the two main troublemakers remarked in unision, clearly and blatantly misreading the situation. Sirius added on, "Somewhere more _private_ , hmm?"  
  
Remus, ignoring his friends entirely, sort of scrambled to his feet, looking at you with nervousness clear on his face.  
  
"Right. So, uh—...After you." You'd never seen him so apprehensive. Then again, you'd rarely seen him in the first place.  
  
Nodding, you started off at a rapid pace so that Remus was slightly struggling to keep up, rolling your eyes again as you heard the other ¾ of the marauders displaying their enthusiasm through dog whistles and approving remarks that made the boy beside you very obviously embarrassed.  
  
"Don't mind them. They're just being idiots," he muttered, staring at the ground as he half-jogged beside you.  
  
"Oh, I know," you replied bluntly. Remus frowned. "So, the headmaster tells me that you'll be able to inform me of what arrangements have been made for  _our_ kind on one particular monthly occasion?"  
  
"Right. Um, well, d'you know the Whomping Willow tree? At it's base, there's a secret passage that, uh, leads to a tunnel, that leads to— ...Er, I suppose it would just be easier if I showed it to you. There's a secure house where we'll wait out the day and night of the full moon."  
  
Not bothering to actually make the effort to find a quiet, empty place to talk, you simply walked until you were a large distance away from anyone else, stopping near the edge of the lake and turning on your heels to face the fifth year. Only at this proximity did you notice the abundance of unnerving pale scars littered on his face.  
  
"How long?"  
  
Once again, you appeared to have caught him off guard.  
  
"...What? Oh, um... It's been a while," Remus replied hesitantly. "...What about you?"  
  
"Three months."  
  
He looked at you, eyes widened slightly, and he started to say something, which was most likely going to be an expression of pity, but decided against it. You were a Slytherin, after all—he didn't wan't to accidentally offend you. He couldn't imagine having to go through something as horrific as _that_ every month with someone that hated his guts.  
  
A short, emotionless silence fell between you, before you broke it.  
  
"As you probably know, the next full moon is this weekend. I'll meet you near the Whomping Willow around noon so you can show me this safe house of yours."  
  
"Y-Yeah, alright." He tried to grin at you politely, but his tired and anxious appearance made the forced action seem unnatural and nearly made you want to roll your eyes.  
  
Vacantly, you sighed and walked away, leaving Remus, who stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before returning to his friends, without even the slightest of goodbyes.  
  
. . .  
  
"Soooo, Remus—" started Sirius.  
  
"—What did you two talk about?" James finished, laying on his stomach with his chin on his hands and supplying his friend with the entirety of his attention. As if on cue, Sirius did the same.  
  
By now, Remus had taken his book back out and begun reading again, so he didn't even look up to answer the question, a bored tone to his voice.  
  
"Astronomy."  
  
The two boys exchanged glances.  
  
"Sounds romantic," Sirius said with a smirk.  
  
Remus scoffed, turning the page.  
  
"If talking to me while simultaneously acting as though I wasn't there is romantic, then sure, it was incredibly so."  
  
"Relax, Moony, I'm sure they're just playing hard to get," James said, pretending to comfort his friend.  
  
"What, like Evans?"  
  
"As a matter of fact, yes, Padfoot. Exactly like Evans."  
  
"I'm not sure you could even begin to compare a _Slytherin_ such as them to—"  
  
With a sigh (or, rather, a huff), Remus very audibly slammed his book shut and stood up again, walking back towards the castle by himself.  
  
"What's gotten into him?" James wondered aloud, frowning, yet still seeming amused.  
  
"Perhaps the Slytherin put him in a bad mood."  
  
"What do you say, Mr. Padfoot? Up for a little detective work?"  
  
"Am I ever, Mr. Prongs."


	2. A Mild Vexation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, would you look at that. i updated. must be a miracle.
> 
> what happened was, i was waiting until my next harry potter kick to post another chapter, and, well, it took longer than expected. my b.

James and Sirius were following you.

That much was obvious, given that they were utterly horrendous at it.

Not once, not twice, but three times over the course of one singular day you had seen them in your peripheral vision, and every single time that you had turned around to catch them in the act, they turned around as well, trying to act casual and even sometimes going so far as to whistle a tune. They were so horribly obvious that you may have laughed had you not been so irritated by them.

It was while you were in the middle of a fervent, intelligent (read: one-sided and dull) conversation with Severus Snape while waiting for your next class to begin that you felt a slight shiver run down your spine, the familiar feeling of being watched. A quick glance to your peripherals confirmed that the duo were, in fact, watching you. They stood leaning against the wall behind you in a way that may have been considered normal had their gazes not been pointed at you so blatantly and intensely that the people around you had stepped out of their line of sight in order to catch a glimpse of whatever the hell they were so enthralled in and inadvertently made a direct path from them to you.

You groaned out of exasperation. Merlin, you knew there was absolutely no way they were this idiotic, so what on Earth were they doing? They had to know that you were aware of their tailing you, so were they just trying to annoy you? What could possibly be their goal?

That was it. Enough was enough.

Suddenly, you turned your attention back to Severus for no more then a second before cutting him off with some boredly-delivered excuse and leaving him in your dust as you began walking hurriedly down the halls, as if late for something. Of course, James and Sirius, who instantly thought that you were actually doing something interesting for once, hurriedly (and, again, very obviously) followed you through the corridors, seemingly unaware of the fact that they were being led to the most empty, uninhabited area you could find...

Once you decided that the vicinity was desolate enough, you turned one final corner and pressed your back against the wall, waiting for your followers to walk into your trap. The second the two boys ventured within your reach, they found themselves pressed side-by-side against the wall where you had been only seconds before, one of your hands pressed around each of their throats. You weren't deliberately choking them, but rather using the gesture as an obvious threat and show of dominance.

"Bloody—Ack!" James.

"Ugh! Merlin, what are you—!" Sirius—you had to squeeze your hand a little bit as a threat before he decided to shut up.

"Now, boys," you chimed, a clearly forced smile on your lips. "What exactly have you been trying to accomplish by following me around all day?"

Somehow, the exact same grin began to grow on both of their faces simultaneously, and you glanced between them uncomfortably.

"We're trying to find out if you're in love with Remus," James explained, sounding strangely proud of himself.

"So far, we haven't found any solid evidence, though," Sirius added, though he appeared unconcerned by the fact.

Well, at least they were willing to keep you updated with the results of their following you.

"...Okay," you began, thought not as strongly as you wished--weirdly, this had been feeling like the strangest thing that happened to you in all your years at Hogwarts, and you'd only just become a werewolf! "Well, how about I cut your little investigation short, hmm? I couldn't care less about your little friend, so that will be quite enough of this following me around nonsense. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," Sirius assured.

"Though, I'm not sure if I believe you," James insisted, then glancing to his friend. "Do you believe them, Sirius?"

"Not entirely, no."

James turned his gaze back to you. "There you have it," he ruled, triumphant.

You blinked once, then twice, completely dumbfounded. "I'm sorry, did you just decide that I'm lying despite admitting you have no evidence?" you inquired, your bewilderment with the situation inadvertently softening your attitude.

"Oh, but we do have evidence!" James claimed, a devious look on his face.

"...Which would be?" you prompted, exasperated. You were starting to develop the unfortunate habit of humoring them.

"The evidence is that we have no evidence against it, of course," replied Sirius, who was sporting a rather smug expression. You were tempted to wipe it off his face.

Again, you blinked, and your hands finally fell. You wore a rather tired face as you pinched the bridge of your nose, sighing deeply. You had wasted enough of your time on them already, and you supposed there was no arguing with their madness.

"Right, of course, how could I have been so blind," you spat sarcastically, gesturing boredly with your free hand. "Whatever, I don't care anymore... But understand if I catch you following me again, it won't be my fingernails digging into your throats next time."

"Well, then you won't catch us," Sirius retorted, throwing a wink at you, and James snickered.

If only those three curses weren't so terribly unforgivable...

Huffing, you straightened your robes, holding your head up high as you began to retrace your footsteps back to your class, not giving a second look to the two boys before your turned the corner and left their line of sight. As you left, James snickered a second time, and Sirius snorted, shaking his head at your pompous exit.

"Well, aren't they an interesting one?" James noted with amusement.

"Oh, definitely," Sirius agreed.

"Do you really think they fancy Remus?" James inquired after a moment, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, not really," replied Sirius with a shrug. "Do you?"

"Nope."

A moment passed in silence.

"We're never leaving them be, though, are we, Prongs?"

"Ha! Not so long as Evans is gorgeous, Padfoot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was actually written within a week of the first one but I couldn't bring myself to post it until now because it feels kinda meaningless and also like a load of garbage. i dunno.
> 
> next chapter is full moon chapter though so that should be interesting. assuming it doesn't take me another year to write and post it. haha, yikes.


	3. The Rendezvous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back.............. back again........... this undependable binch with no concept of time that's who 
> 
> .............tell a friend

You arrived at the Whomping Willow at exactly 11:45, fifteen minutes earlier than you had instructed Remus to meet you there.

Aside from the possibility of making him flustered, likely thinking he'd gotten the time wrong and feeling bad for making you wait, you had no real reason for this. Though, there is indeed value in entertainment.

And perhaps if he felt bad enough, you could get him to do some of your homework for you. Hell, if he didn't do it, you were sure it'd never get done. Actually working was probably the exact last thing on your mind, what with your impending first ever transformation away from home. You'd liked to think the situation wasn't bothering you as much as it was, that you had no fears or inhibitions regarding the forthcoming day, but in reality, you'd been so utterly consumed in your troubled thoughts that Remus had to call your name three times to snap you out of your trance.

You must've jumped about a foot in the air as soon as he did catch your attention and you yelped involuntarily, face snapping towards his with a bewildered expression. Funnily enough, his face mirrored your own. You hated being this jumpy, but for some reason his reaction annoyed you just as much as your own.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--"  
  
"Nevermind _that_ ," you snapped sharply, pinching the bridge of your nose, your eyes squinting shut for a moment. When you opened them again, he was looking at you warily, and you could tell he was trying to choose his next words carefully. Of course, because you were just some wild animal, weren't you?  
  
"I, um... Did I get the time wrong...?"  
  
"No, Remus, you did not. Though you should know that it's only polite to arrive _before_ the arranged meeting time. I knew you were a wolf, but I didn't suspect you'd been _raised_ by them as well."  
  
Remus sighed rather heavily, and your eyes snapped to him as if he'd just sassed you. Perhaps he sort of had.  
  
"I'm sorry, you're right. I didn't mean to make you wait. I'll come earlier next time, I'm really--"  
  
"Alright, alright, enough of that," you ordered, holding you're hand up as to signal him to stop talking. Though it was entirely your fault for prompting him to speak, the sound of his clearly all-but-genuine apology did nothing but grate against your nerves. You were beginning to think it was the moon that was making you so excessively aggravated. "Now show me this 'safe house' of yours. Unless you'd like to wait out here until we're clawing at each other's throats."

Remus grimaced.

"Right. Follow me, please."

You followed him as he asked, but you hadn't the slightest idea where he could possibly be going, walking directly at the tree as he was. When he was about an arm's length from the tree's trunk, he stopped and crouched down, and that's when you noticed the rather large hole situated down amid the roots. A hole just about big enough for a person to climb down into.  
  
No.  
  
"No."  
  
Remus looked back at you with an expression both apologetic and exasperated.  
  
"I'm sorry, but there's no other way to get there. The windows and everything are all boarded up. It's safe, though. I promise." He turned back towards the hole, examining what could be seen of the passage in the darkness. "This first drop is a bit slippery through, so please be careful. I'll go first, so if you fall, I'll--"  
  
"You'll what? Catch me? With _those_ arms? Not bloody likely."  
  
Looking back at you again, Remus seemed to have something on the tip of his tongue, which you supposed was likely along the lines of "why are you being so difficult?" or "did I do something to make you hate me?" It was nothing you hadn't heard before, which is why you were so unconcerned, but also why what he _did_ say caught you so off guard.  
  
"Are you going to keep taking your frustration out on me like this?"  
  
A fraction of the first syllable of a retort escaped your lips before dying completely, slain by the utter surprise you felt as soon as you'd processed what he'd said. Your mouth remained open as you gaped at him, stunned to an uncharacteristic silence, and you weren't sure if the heat that rushed to your cheeks was from anger or embarrassment at being so blatantly called out. He wasn't wrong about what you'd been doing, of course, but to think he had _dared_ to confront you on it... You weren't sure how to respond.  
  
Taking in your highly unexpected reaction, Remus' eyes widened slightly. Now he really did feel bad. It was a rather sensitive time for people like you, and to think how recently you'd began to suffer from this curse. Your personality did seem to warrant this kind of behavior, but he had certainly felt just as confrontational as you were acting on days such as this one.

"I'm sorry. That was rude of me, wasn't it? Sorry, just forget I said anything. It's fine, really. Here, I'll--" 

He cut himself off and hurriedly made his way through the hole in the ground, disappearing from your sight.

You remained still for a moment, still recovering from the shock, but quickly regained your senses, straightening your robes out of habit before hesitantly approaching the hole yourself. It didn't appear to be a terribly long drop, but the shining rock floor of the path did look like one wrong step would have you slipping your way down. You couldn't see Remus, but the light emitting from his wand illuminated the path for you.

Deciding to eliminate the possibility of falling, you carefully sat down at the top of the entrance, and Remus was now partially visible at the bottom of the drop. With a sigh, you began to make your way down, scooting and sliding, kicking rocks and leaves out of your path. It was going rather well up until you suddenly lost control of your descent and found yourself sliding uncontrollably down the rock face, a curse escaping your lips and echoing through the tunnel.

As you rapidly approached the bottom, you pushed yourself to your feet, but unfortunately for you, you were still carrying too much momentum and a face full of dead leaves in your near future was all but guaranteed. Or it would have been, if not for Remus.

As soon as he noticed you were likely to fall, Remus stood in your path, one of his hands pressed onto your shoulder to help restore your balance while his other hand held his wand.

Huh... So he _could_ catch you.

"Are you alright?" he asked, and realizing you were leaning on him, you immediately stepped back and smacked his hand off of your shoulder. He frowned.

"Right as rain," you quipped monotonously as you pushed around him, taking in your surroundings. The hole led to an underground tunnel, the ground of which was carpeted in a thick layer of dead leaves. You couldn't see the end.

After a moment of complete silence, you rolled your eyes and turned your head to look at Remus over your shoulder, standing behind you blankly.

"We haven't got all day," you prompted impatiently, arms crossed over your chest.

He simply sighed and began walking again with his head tilted downwards, silently leading you through the dark and narrow tunnel.

You'd never before been more grateful that you weren't claustrophobic--The strange atmosphere you'd created between Remus and yourself made the passageway seem twice as stifling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this is basically a filler chapter like theres no reason for all this to take as long as it did but dont worry cause the next chapter is gonna be some Good Shit and im gonna start writing it right now immediately


	4. A Day Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day.................................. ur welcome
> 
> also The Longest Chapter Yet . . . ........... . .. ................... .. .double welcome

Luckily for you, the tunnel wasn't as long as you feared it would be, so you only spent a minimal amount of time staring at Remus' back in near complete silence. For a few minutes, all that could be heard was the crunching of leaves beneath two pairs of feet, the only light coming from Remus' wand. Eventually, he came to a stop, and looking around him you saw a small rock staircase that seemed to lead into the roof of the cave. He lifted his wand up, and you realized the roof above the staircase was actually a hatch.

With minor difficulty, he opened the hatch, and once again you were bathed in natural light, though admittedly not very much. Remus climbed up the steep stairs and deluminated his wand, then leaning over and extending a hand down towards you to aid your ascension up the rather unsafe looking staircase. Your previous near-fall running through your mind, you glanced at his hand, but then decisively ignored it and climbed up on your own, which at this point Remus could honestly say he expected.

Finally free from the cramped and uncomfortable confines of the passageway, you stretched your arms out above your head and took a deep breath. Then, you frowned and began dusting the fallen dirt off of your robes and satchel and out of your hair. At some point, you noticed Remus was staring.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," he said, beginning to turn away as not to offend you, but then turning back and gesturing towards his own hair. "Well, you've got, um... In your hair, there's..."

Frowning again, you attempted to remove whatever was stuck to your head, but your attempts were unfruitful.

"Um.. No, its..." He trailed off, and then sighed, stepping forward and quickly plucking a piece of a dead leaf out of your hair.

You stared at him, evidently confounded, to which he bore a similar look, confused as to what had you so alarmed.

To think he would just... _do that._ Without even the slightest request for permission. Honestly, the more time you spent with him, the less you could comprehend how to deal with him.

Eager to put the prior exchange behind you, you spun around, banishing him from your sight and examining the building in which you now resided. Though you almost wish you hadn't.

Not only was the residence dark, damp, and dreary, but the evidence of what it was used for was displayed unabashedly, horrific claw marks decorating nearly every wall, most furniture severely damaged if not destroyed. Through an open door, you could see the sad, splintered remnants of what you only assumed was once a chair sitting in the corner, absolutely shredded into what was now essentially firewood. 

Only then did a thought occur to you.

While you had known for the better part of a week that you and Remus were both werewolves, who's to say that you were anywhere remotely near each other in terms of power? For all you knew, Remus' wolf could be twice the size of yours with half of the temper. What if you're to be seen as nothing more than a midnight snack? What if you end up in a worse state than the chair?

Suddenly apprehensive, you turned to Remus. Even if he didn't know exactly what you were thinking, he could certainly guess close enough. He himself knew how scary it was to see the results of his transformations, so he could only imagine how it felt from your perspective, having to spend the night with him. 

You cleared your throat, deciding to perish the thought. After all, there was no way such an arrangement would be in place if you were any real danger to each other, right?

Straightening your robes once again, you glanced at the staircase behind you, and deciding it probably wouldn't collapse beneath you, you promptly sauntered up the stairs. Unsure of what to do, Remus followed silently.

At the top of the stairs, you found a rather large room that seemed to be someone's bedroom once upon a time. The rather large bed was the first sign, but there was also an old piano, a chandelier, and a blackened fireplace with a large painting hanging above it, the picture distorted by both ash and a long, eerie claw mark running diagonally across it. 

This will do. 

Abruptly, you spun on your heels and found Remus standing awkwardly in the doorway, his eyebrows raising upwards at your sudden movement.

"This," you declared, gesturing behind you, "is my room. You are not to enter without permission."

"...Sure, if you'd like," he agreed with a nod, and you grimaced at the way he made it sound like _he_ was giving _you_ permission. Of course, he was here first, but as far as you were concerned you were on equal grounds, if not tilted in your favor.

With a "hmph," you grabbed the handles of both of your new room's doors and shut them swiftly in his face. For a moment, there was only silence, but then his footsteps began to slowly carry him away. You'd pretend that slight chuckle you heard was just your imagination, for his sake.

\-- 

Though you'd hate to admit it, you grew very bored very fast without Remus's company. It wasn't that you found him terribly fascinating, of course, but rather that you hadn't brought anything to entertain yourself with other than school work, and you highly doubted you'd find it in you to even touch any of that any time soon. More than once, as you lay there on that musty bed, you found yourself straining to listen to whatever Remus may be doing, but the complete and utter silence you were always met with told you that he was likely either reading or doing his own homework. How boring he was, that boy.

The thought of descending that rickety staircase was admittedly a very tempting one, but there was something inside of you that warned you not to bother him. It wasn't out of fear, of course--Remus was likely one of the least intimidating people you knew, at least in his current form. 

No, rather than fear, you were certain it was something else, and you found yourself replaying the earlier scenario in your head again.

_"Are you going to keep taking your frustration out on me like this?"_

Just thinking about what he'd said made you immensely uncomfortable all over again, and you felt the urge to press your face into one of the moldy smelling pillows around you. It was such an ordinary statement that he was entirely justified in making, and yet it just bothered you _so very much._  

On one hand, it irritated you to no end--how _dare_ he speak to you like that, who in _Merlin's_ name does he think he _is_ , and the like--but on the other hand, the statement inspired a pang of guilt within you, knowing that you were indeed being unnecessarily difficult, that you two were in the same boat so there was no need to be so incessantly mean to him. _But since when did you care about that?_ Damn him.

With a sigh, you abruptly sat up and swung your legs over the side of the bed, a cacophony of creaks accompanying the movement. 

Perhaps you would pay him a visit. 

\--

You tried your very best to suppress the moans and groans of the old wooden stairs as you traversed down them, but you were certain by the time you reached the bottom that it was a lost cause. Casual and aloof as always, you began to walk around the first floor of the shack as if you hadn't just closed yourself away in your room for the past thirty minutes. You didn't want him to think you were so pathetically lonely as to seek his company, of course. You were doing it... for his sake.

Yes, of course. You'd guessed someone as pitiful as him would likely be dying of boredom down here all by himself, so you decided to be the bigger person and bless him with your presence. For his sake.

"Are you looking for me?"

You shrieked.

Again. The fact that you'd been so wrapped up in your own mind that Remus had managed to startle you not once but _twice_ in one day was enough to make you wish that werewolf you'd met all those months ago had just done you a favor and _killed_ you.

Looking down, you realized that you'd been so deep in thought that you'd walked right by him when you entered a room, as he was seated on the ground against the wall beside the doorway. He had a book in his hands, and a contrite look on his face.

"Oh, Merlin, I'm really sorry. I keep doing that, don't I? I didn't mean t--"

"Yes, Remus, I _know_ you didn't mean to," you spat breathlessly, a hand on your chest as if to help slow down your now elevated heart rate. He frowned at you sympathetically. "...Stop that."

"Um... Stop what?"

You sighed deeply, giving up altogether, and took a seat in a seemingly stable chair a few feet away from him, tiredly rubbing your eyes with your fingers.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, you covering your face with your hands out of stress and Remus watching you in silence, thinking it rude to return to his book with you here in front of him. When you seemed to have no intention to speak, he decided to himself.

"Did you... want something?" He asked, trying not to sound like he didn't want you there. Honestly, he was just curious. And slightly concerned.

"The sweet release of death sounds just _wonderful_ right about now."

"Um..."

You removed your hands from your face and stared at him blankly.

"That was a joke, Remus."

"Oh. Right. Of course."

You sighed, seemingly for the hundredth time that day. Now all you'd done is make everything even more awkward. It was _his_ fault though, really. Since there was no saving the atmosphere at this point, you decided to roll with it.

"Do you hate me, Remus?" _Not that I care_ , you only barely refrained from adding on.

He looked rather taken aback.

" _Hate_ you? No! No, of course not. I barely even know you. I mean... Sure, you can be a little--"

"I didn't ask for that much, Remus," you said, cutting him off, though you didn't seem upset, and you could tell he was trying to stifle a grin. Strangely, you were glad.

So, he didn't hate you. That's good. Not that you really expected him to. In all honesty, you weren't exactly sure why you'd asked.

"Well, then... Do you love me?"

Remus's eyebrows flew upward and he cleared his throat, looking at you as if trying to figure out if you were serious.

"Er, well... I'm afraid my answer to this question isn't much different from the last..."

"Is that so?" you questioned, the corner of your lip twitching upwards momentarily. "Because your little friends seem to think otherwise."

Remus wasn't sure what exactly made his friends so little, but that was a mystery to be solved at a later date.

"They seem to...? Oh, no, don't tell me they've been--"

"Following me from class to class? Harassing me? Interrogating me about my supposed relationship with you? Yes, they have."

Now was Remus's turn to cover his face with his hands and sigh deeply. After a moment, he looked back up at you appearing to be deeply exhausted.

"I am... _so_ sorry. I swear, I told them not to bother you. I should've known they'd do it anyway. It's just sort of... how they are. Really, I'm sorry."

"It was probably your telling them not to that inspired them to actually make an effort to trouble me," you guessed. You didn't know James and Sirius very well, but from your brief interactions with them, you were certain they were the type to take a prohibition as nothing more than a challenge.

"Yeah... Yeah, you're probably right," he agreed, and he couldn't help but smile to himself at the thought of his friends. "But really, I am sorry. I'll tell them to stop, seriously." 

"Thank you, Remus," was all you thought to say, and Remus was the slightest bit staggered by your words, though he immediately felt bad for feeling so. He just hadn't originally pegged you as the type to, well... thank people. Or at least not often.

 "Yes, no problem..." he replied lamely.

A silence followed, and it was likely the most comfortable silence the two of you had shared thus far.

"What are you reading?" you asked, not because you were interested in his book as much as you were yearning for something to drown out your thoughts.

"Oh, this, it's just... something I found in the library this morning. Thought I could finish it before, well... you know."

You eyed him skeptically. That book must've been three or four hundred pages at least, and he expected to finish it in one afternoon?

"Do you still intend to?"

"Well, yes..."

"Hm... Then, read to me."

"What?"

"Read to me," you repeated, and then began fussing with your nails absentmindedly. He took that opportunity to smile at you.

"I'm not sure I can finish it by tonight if I read it to you," he argued, mostly in jest.

"I don't care. I'm bored. Read to me."

Normally, Remus would've found being ordered around as such bothersome if not entirely irritating, but something about your somewhat childish demands simply amused him.

"If you insist," he relented, before clearing his throat.

And read to you he did.

\--

You weren't sure when you'd dosed off in that uncomfortable chair, but when Remus's hand gently shaking your shoulder roused you, it was considerably darker in the room than you'd last remembered. Regarding him with one eye open, you grimaced, both for allowing you to fall asleep and for the fact that he'd woken you up. 

"Sorry to wake you, but it's getting sort of late," he said, and that's all he needed to say because almost immediately after, a sharp pain struck in your head and ricocheted throughout your entire body before dissipating.

You cried out, doubling over tensely until the pain left you. Suddenly, you were wide awake.

"I'm sorry... It hurts already, yeah?" Remus had gotten used to expecting the pain to begin a few hours from the current time, but he does remember it hurting earlier (and more intensely) at the beginning. "I... don't know what I can do for you. I brought some water, if you'd like some."

You shook your head, brain still rattling from the sudden wake up and sharp pain. A moment later, you stood up and began stumbling towards the door.

"H-Hey, careful. You shouldn't move too much, it might just make it hurt more." He'd rushed to your side, trying to help steady you, but you only shoved him away.

"I'm fine... Please, Remus, just..." you trailed off, voice sharp, and slowly yet determinedly left the room. "I'm fine," you repeated on your way out.

Though every bone is his body told him to do otherwise, he simply watched you go. Whether it was out of fear of hurting you or fear of ruining the good terms the two of you seemed to be on, he was not sure. He did, however, stand at the ready as he watched you climb the stairs, prepared to run and support you if another spike of pain threatened to push you down them.

Fortunately, you made it up the stairs and into your room safely, though Remus winced when he heard your door slam shut.

\--

It was starting. That's all you could think about.

The actual transformation likely wouldn't be for a while, but that didn't matter. The pain had begun. You were terrified.

Almost immediately after shutting the door you were hit with another wave and you cried out again, though you quickly grit your teeth to try and silence yourself. The last thing you wanted right then was Remus up there with you. 

You had to set things up before the pain became too much of an obstruction.

As quickly as you were capable, you searched through your satchel and retrieved your wand, pointing it shakily at the closed doors to your room.

_"Colloportus*"_

With that, you felt immensely relieved, allowing the wand to slip out of your hand and onto the floor carelessly. Carefully, you lay yourself on the bed and took a deep breathe, trying to relax.

It'll be over soon.

It'll be over soon.

It'll be over soon.

Within minutes you were consumed by a pounding headache, and you'd spend the next few hours writhing around in pain and sweating copiously, with your stomach constantly threatening to reject this morning's breakfast. Though this wasn't your first time experiencing this pain, every single time felt like the worst you'd ever faced.

All concept of time having been lost, it may have been a few minutes or a few hours when your anguished wails were accompanied by those belonging to Remus. Around the same time, you began to hear yourself sobbing.

You'd never known such bliss as the short, painless moment before you'd lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cant believe this reader is such a hot gotdam mess dont u just love them
> 
> also their #1 hobby is cutting off Remus mid sentence can u tell
> 
> * Colloportus is the locking charm in case anyone didn't know. i had to google it so i dont blame u
> 
> p.s. if any1 leaves a comment thats like "pls update" or "this is great i hope you update soon" or even "i love your writing style i cant wait for the next update" im gonna make the reader stab remus in the jugular next chapter. "im so glad u updated/thank you for updating" is cool and supportive but "pls update/when will u update" is terrible and rude and offensive i get it u like my fic but there are much nicer and more helpful ways of showing it like actual reviews and praise anyways dont try me love u all muah bye


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